operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

partickstump:

i :) am :) so :) stressed :) about :) everything :) all :) the :) time :)

(Source: brenodnurie)

do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how

(Source: nevecampbell)

ivanoooze:

alright ditto you wise ass

(Source: )

seedy:

what do u mean “4 minute shower” it takes me 4 minutes to get the water to the right temperature smh

gorilllas:

@myself what the fuck are you doing

(Source: hayleu)